The Mental Reset I Come Back to When My Mind Starts Spinning

Who hasn’t felt anxious at some point. We all mess up. Things fall apart. Plans go sideways. None of that should be surprising—at least not when you’re thinking clearly.

But when you're in it, caught in the middle of a mess, it’s easy to forget that this kind of thing is normal. Chaos and calm take turns. Screwing up now and then is just part of being human.

Justified or not, the mind loves to blow things out of proportion. It cooks up worst-case scenarios like your life depends on it. And to be fair, that’s part of the system. It’s your brain’s way of prepping for real threats.

But what if everything starts to feel like a threat?

The other day I caught myself spiraling over a short email that felt cold. I reread it five times like I was decoding a secret message. A day later, it turned out to be nothing. Just someone being brief. But in the moment, my brain treated it like a five-alarm fire.

Was all that energy worth it? Not even close.

You might think the problem with caring too much about the wrong things is that you’re stressing yourself out. And yeah, that’s part of it. But the real damage is this—while you’re busy dissecting what doesn’t matter, the things that actually need your time and focus get ignored.

Here’s the thing. Thoughts are like plants. They grow based on what you feed them.

Negative thoughts? Those are the weeds. Fast, sharp, and hard to kill.

Now imagine only feeding those. You get a backyard full of weeds and no room for anything else. That’s not growth. That’s a slow mental collapse.

When everything feels like an emergency, nothing is stable. Nothing feels good.

The Triad of Response

Stressful stuff is going to happen. That’s life. You can’t dodge it. But you can stop it from owning you. Here’s a simple reset I use when things get messy. It isn’t trademarked or branded. Just something that works.

One. Two. Three.

Step 1: PAUSE

Things feel like they need a response right now. Like you’ll lose something if you don’t say or do something immediately. But the truth is, there’s a small gap between what happens and what you do about it. Most of the time, that gap gets skipped. That’s why everything feels so urgent.

Next time your brain is in full alarm mode, stop. Catch that gap. It’s yours. You get to decide what happens in it. Think of it like building a dam in a fast river. Not to block the water, just to slow it down enough to think.

For the science crowd, this is your amygdala freaking out. Pausing lets your prefrontal cortex—the rational part—step in and take back the controls.

“You don’t have to turn this into something. It doesn’t have to upset you." 
Marcus Aurelius

Step 2: BREATHE

You’ve heard it a hundred times. Pay attention to your breath. And maybe it sounds like fluff. But it isn’t. It works.

There’s something weirdly grounding about noticing how cool air moves in, flows through, and leaves your body. When your brain is jammed with static, breathing clears the line. It brings you back to now.

This isn’t just for meditation. In Aikido, breath is a tactic. In the middle of chaos, the one who controls their breath controls the moment.

Breath brings you back to yourself. Not the panicked version. The real you.

Step 3: DO THE RIGHT THING

You’ve slowed things down. You’ve cleared the noise. Now it’s time to move. That’s when your inner compass kicks in. Mine is built on four things: wisdom, temperance, courage, and justice.

Before I act, I ask myself two questions: “Does this reflect the best version of me?”. And “would my family be proud of what I’m about to do?”

If the answer is yes, I go. If not, I don’t.

That’s how I move—based on values, not panic.

The first sketch I did for this framework. Still displayed on the my home office’s cork board

How It All Works Together

This isn’t a checklist. It’s a reset.

Pause gives you space.
Breathing clears the fog.
Act shows you the way forward.

Used together, they pull you out of the weeds and drop you back into your actual life. The one that matters. The one that needs your attention.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about being able to function when things go sideways.

And Now What

You’ll probably forget most of this post by tomorrow. That’s how brains work.

So, here’s what sticks. Keep this framework nearby. Your notes app, your fridge, a sticky note—wherever it helps. The more you use it, the more natural it becomes.

Because chaos isn’t going to wait.
And neither should you.